The Day Everything Changed

December 14, 2008. Who knew one day could change your life in so many ways. In the early hours of the morning I was awakened by my own screaming as (I later came to know) I was having a seizure. I remember Randy asking if I was okay and I wanted to tell him I wasn't, but couldn't even form words to talk. The next I don't know how many hours are a blur of mist and memories. Paramedics asking me questions to see if I knew who I was, where I was, what day it was. Waking up in the hospital to see Randy's scared face only to have another seizure. Getting transported over the hill in an ambulance to Kaiser San Jose. Waking up in the hospital. Being asked if I was claustrophobic because they were going to do an MRI. Waking up in MRI machine wishing I had said I was claustrophobic because I was SCARED. Knowing that I should pray because I was so scared, doing it and immediately being comforted by the Father's love and peace.

If you want to hear the whole story up until June, check out the Elevation podcast here. A friend named Keith shares his story first, and then I speak. Maybe about 10 minutes in. PS there's a happy ending to the story, Dan was a perfect match as if we were blood related and my new kidney is amazingly healthy) but that's for another time.

People often wonder where God is in times of struggle and pain. Honestly, He's right there beside you. He doesn't like seeing his kids hurt and struggling anymore than a parent on Earth enjoys seeing their kid hurt. The question is, how do you respond to God when the going gets tough, as it inevitably will. Bobby, a friend of our family & a local pastor, posted this quote recently:

God is most glorified in me when I am most satisfied in him…through trials.

-John Piper

I am eternally thankful for the trials I went through this past year for so many reasons, but the one that stands foremost in my mind is because it strengthened my faith in God. I have never had to lean and rely on Him in such a tangible way and I give praise for that. I would never change any of the health crisis that happened this past year, because it has shaped who I am as a follower of Christ. In 2010, and the rest of my life, I want to strive to be the person I was at that time - absolutely dependent on God.